You will not forget it, but you can rebuild your life during this time

One of the most uncomfortable thoughts in people who begin a process of breakdown and leave behind a toxic relationship is the fear of never forgetting that person. The fear that arises when you feel that this person is still present when she is no longer there physically in their life. This fear is related to uncertainty: not knowing if at some point it will change and fade completely.

In this process, significant emotional impacts also occur when all good memories come back at once. Sensations in which nostalgia and anger mingle with the intermittent sparks emitted by this source of constant suffering.

Logically, these people end up wondering: how do the memories of someone with whom I have suffered so much and whom I have to go away keep feeling so pleasant and cause me so much harm at the same time? Was it finally "THIS" person and do I do well to let her escape despite all the harm she caused to me?

And indeed, we continue to love these people. This is what makes us suffer the most when we move away from someone for our good and to safeguard our self-esteem. How can I love someone who has hurt me so much? That's the question we ask ourselves again and again.

You will not forget it and you will even continue to love it
Yes it's possible. We can continue to love someone who has not deserved us. We can remember this person with the same tenderness and sweetness as the memories we have. Some questions, what can our friends ask us, such as "How do you do to not hate him after all that he did to you?" Or "How? With all that you have suffered, you are not able to see it differently? "; these questions, therefore, logical for the head, prove disconcerting to the heart.

Of course, we can continue to love a person who has hurt us. It's the logic of the heart. The passion and pleasant emotions that we have experienced continue and bring us beautiful memories. Memories that hurt us when we move away. Because our head is unable to understand this strange paradox.

But this paradox exists and is completely human. It is useless to frustrate ourselves by trying to convince our hearts not to feel when it is their duty. The heart will feel beyond what our mind can think. Perhaps you think that there are heads that limit the heart and that for this reason, they have built a thick iron fortress to soften the beats until they make their echoes insignificant. But also know that any fortress, or wall, is defensive and away from what we really feel.

Lucidity is our ally on this path

Accepting this reality costs a lot, but frees us from a lot of unnecessary effort. That the heart is free does not imply that we can not use our head since lucidity is what will help us to maintain our self-esteem intact. Not being able to forget someone who has been important in our life (even if he has hurt us) does not mean that this person is the one who suits us.

"Refuse to suffer for love, find your place in solitude and do not allow the desire to love to be found above everything."-Walter Riso-

Remembering is human and natural, just like continuing to build your life. Plus, doing it with this new learning experience will help us protect ourselves. Do whatever you want, sign up for the activities you have always wanted to do and let yourself be carried away: paint, dance, compose songs, write, build, create, like yours ... Do you love yourself!

Responsibility and self-esteem
Love yourself, take care of yourself, commit yourself to your own self-esteem. Clarify what you have learned from you in this relationship. To reproach the sufferings received to the other will not help you. But, knowing what you have been able to tolerate "out of love" or into that passion that blinded you will help you take the part of responsibility you have.

"A man travels the world looking for what he needs and comes home to find it."
-Georg Moore- 

Think about it ... and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself: What are the limits that I have exceeded in the relationship with my self-esteem? Answer with calm and with time. "What are the limits that I am no longer willing to go beyond in any relationship?" Build yourself with this experience and do not hurry if you are not able to forget it. Remember that we can not forget who we loved, but we can build new memories with new experiences that fuel the love you deserve.